It is true what they say about twins holding a special bond, or connection one could say. However, there are a lot of things they don’t tell you. Being a twin is more common now then it was when I was growing up. My brother and I were considered a special rarity, two for the price of one. Being a mom brings its own challenges as it is, and there is a reason moms are called superwoman. Being the mom of multiples should have its own kind of name. Something more along the lines of a cartoon that was around when I was younger called “Go Go Gadget,” that was my mom. I don’t know how she did it, but her and my dad did a great job!
From the moment my brother and I were born we were inseparable. Being baby “A” I pushed my way through ahead of him to come out first by a whole 2 minutes. I am very competitive; some could say it started early. In my rush to be first my brother was drowning in fluid and had to be rushed into the ICU. I cried and cried until the nurses couldn’t take it anymore and rolled me in to be with my mom. While my parents where beyond excited to have brought two of us into the world and trying to focus on having their first baby girl, they were haunted to what was happening to their baby “B”. My mom finally begged the nurses to roll me in to see my “other half,” when the doctors said it wasn’t looking to good. At that moment my mom says I immediately stopped crying. Each lying in our plastic bins reaching for each other's hands my twin started getting better and we were out of the hospital in days. I like to think I saved his life; at least tell him he owes me. Now my parents were really in for it.
What to expect when you don’t know what to expect from twins:
My dad spent countless hours building two cribs and having two of everything when we came home. What they didn’t know was I was going to crawl out of my crib into my brothers each night from the moment I could stand. My first note of advice would be purchase ONE crib. Not only will you save money but having one fight with your significant other rather than two. You know the Ikea type of fight.
Second: Even though we are fraternal twins, be prepared for everyone to ask you, “are they identical?” Ummmmm… kindly nod and say no one is a girl and one is a boy, honest mistake. Or maybe you did get two identical blessings and you are in the clear. My mom loved dressing us alike but one of us was always in blue and one in pink. My assumption is due to my mom sticking headbands across my forehead. To peoples credit we did look very similar as babies, but the same question continues even to this day. If you give people a long enough pause they tend to figure it out on their own.
Third: You don’t have to buy 2 of everything boy - girl, boy -boy, girl - girl, it doesn’t matter. Instead buy one of everything, and institute a policy of sharing. Crazy concept I know! This allows your kiddos to learn a valuable skill before they even hit Pre K. We did have our own toys but we shared everything! We played everything from Barbie’s to Legos and Cowboys and Indians together. We had joint birthday parties. We were well rounded. I like to think of this as really helping with the relationships we built with others as we got older.
That brings me to Four: We are complete opposites! Being a twin tends to make our universe think we are one person. Why this is, I do not know! I loved playing sports, and to be honest my brother tried but was not super athletic. Except for hurdles! He could jump those like no one’s business and I have no clue how. I can barely walk in a straight line, but put a basketball in my hand and I go to a different zone. He likes being the life of the party and socializing, I liked art and keeping more to myself. He was loud, funny, and could make friends easy. I was quite, observant, and found socializing a challenge. Together we would make the perfect person. This, in turn helped us growing up to interact with people who were very different from us. Meaning; if you have a twin brother, plan on him dating more than one of your friends growing up. Don’t force or question your twins to be similar. If they don’t like the same things it is okay. Allow them to be and become their own person with and apart from one another.
Five: I wouldn’t change being a twin in the world. From the moment you are in the womb you share your entire life with someone. We have a special connection, and have gone through a lot of great and a lot of terrible things together that only we know. I can tell when he is sad and not even be in the same state as him. It is special no doubt about that. With all the challenges having twins brings, it also brings 2 times the joy, laughter, and accomplishments. While giving you the peace of mind that your child will never be alone and always have someone to watch out for them.