We all have people in our lives that we love and support. Our best friends get the best of us. We would do anything for them. We help them when they are in need. We encourage them onward. We act as a cheering squad. We compliment them. We are there on the good days and there on the bad days. We drop what we can in order to be with them when they need. We love them. But how do we often treat ourselves?
Things we say to our best friends:
- You’ve got this!
- I believe in you!
- You look fantastic!
- You are so beautiful!
- Your house is NOT a mess, it looks fine.
- Congratulations!
- When do I get to see you?
- I will help you!
- You can do it!
- Can I get you something?
- I am here for you.
- I love you.
Things we say to our kids:
- I am proud of you.
- Great job!
- Nice try.
- Keep going!
- You can do it.
- You are so pretty/handsome.
- Keep trying.
- Do you need help?
- Way to go!
- I am here for you.
- I love you.
Our kids get unconditional love and support all the time. We strive for them to have a good life. We provide for them. We teach them. We help them set and accomplish goals. We celebrate little things. We vacation with them. We want them to feel supported. We talk to them. We listen to them. We drive them where they need to be. We encourage exercise and fitness, by having them participate in sports. We want them to be active and participate in their community. We teach them self compassion and compassion for others. We talk to them about anti bullying. We educate them on how to stand up for their friends and for themselves.
Things we say to strangers:
- Have a nice day!
- Thank you!
- Please!
- You’re welcome.
- Good morning!
- How are you?
We treat strangers with respect. We are polite and cordial. We offer them nice tones in our voice. We smile at them. We shake their hand. We say please and thank you. We are there to help them in an emergency situation like a car crash, broken down bus, or earthquake. We offer them a greeting and a friendly face.
Things we say to ourselves:
- I can’t.
- The house is a mess.
- I will never get it done.
- I don’t have time.
- I hate my…
- I am scared, hurt, tired…
- I am so fat, ugly, exhausted, crushed…
- I am unloved.
- I am alone.
- I need help.
We need to start talking to ourselves the way we talk to our friends, kids and strangers. We could change the statements we say to others to an “I statement”. It changes the whole dynamic.
I believe in myself. I can do it. Keep going. I look beautiful. My house is not a mess. I am proud of myself. Great job! Congratulations! Keep trying! Good morning. Have a nice day! I am supported! I am helped! And I am loved!
We should try and offer our self, the support you give friends, the love you give your kids and the respectfulness you give strangers. I know I am going to try.
