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safesplash blog

Monday, December 05, 2016 by Tracey Ray

A Little Grace, Mammas

I don’t always know what to blog about.  Yesterday one of my moms asked me to write about stress during the Holidays.  I told her I didn’t know what she was talking about! What stress? . . . And then a memory of the night before flashed back to my mind; right there and then, I had to dig deep, but the more I thought about stress, the more I remembered.  I let go of my facade . . . only briefly mind you, to let in a distant memory of stress.  Shortly thereafter I put myself right back together, somewhat forcing the image of having it ALL together!  So, I will try to tell you about my brief and unbelievably rare memory of stress.

Last night I was a little stressed out!  I messed up on my financials at work, my Alzheimer’s parents need my attention (for which I didn’t give them as much as I intend), Amazon messed up an important order (again), my son continues to get in trouble for being too social in school, and my son continues to think it is funny that he gets in trouble for being too social despite my efforts to reverse this attitude. I am already behind on my Christmas planning, I have no idea what anyone wants (great anxiety for the control freak in me), and my husband made me dinner and did the dishes, which somehow managed to annoy me.  All of this to say I end up feeling like a bad mom, a bad daughter and a bad wife.  As I woke up this morning and start to move through this day, I wonder if anyone else gets a little stressed out at this time of the year?Stress at the holidays.jpg

All this reminds me to take a few steps back, and breathe.  It reminds me to exercise and eat well.  It reminds me of what an amazing, blessed and special life I have.  This doesn’t mean that in the moment I can’t get angry, frustrated, sad, fed-up, pushed to my breaking point – and when I do let myself show my less than all together facade, I get mad at myself.  I look inward and judge.  So as the holidays are upon me (and all of you); when we sit at the table to eat our feasts and give thanks and say grace; may you pass a little grace, Mammas, to yourselves.  For as imperfect as we ALL are, we are really good mom’s, good wives and good daughters with perfect intentions and sometimes imperfect implementations.